From Pain to Peace: Science-Backed Ways to Cope with Grief
- ivan lo
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
“Grief is the price we pay for love” - Queen Elizabeth II
Writer: Ivan Lo
Designer: Oviya Anthony
Grief is one of the deepest and most profound human emotions, rising from losing things that held deep meanings to us. For most, grief is a silent companion, spoken in quiet moments after loss. In times of mourning, we often forget that grief isn’t a problem to be solved; it is a process to be lived through. The process is full of ups and downs with things happening all over the place. This article will illustrate the psychological tools and coping mechanisms that can help you and others to move through grief, with scientifically proven methods to honour your loss and rebuild your life.
In this article, we will examine how to:
Process painful emotions without being overwhelmed
Harness your brain’s natural healing abilities
Create meaningful rituals to honour what you’ve lost
Recognize when professional help might be needed
Let’s dive into it straight away!
Understanding the science behind pain
For many decades, the Kübler-Ross model (Shown below) dominated our knowledge of grief. Yet, modern psychology reveals a pivotal truth: grief doesn’t follow an orderly checklist. In 2007, a Yale Study found that many people experience emotions as a “roller coaster ride” rather than predictable stages.
Your brain on Grief: A biological storm
Neuroimaging studies show that grief activates the same brain regions as physical pain:
Anterior cingulate cortex (emotional pain centre) - lights up when grieving people see reminders of their loss
Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex (responsible for decision making) - becomes less active, fogging the brain
Stress hormones such as cortisol flood the body, potentially weakening the immune system.
Psychological Strategies for Coping
Acceptance and Emotional Processing
By feeling your emotions rather than suppressing them, you can rewire the brain’s stress response
Grief Journaling: Write unsent letters to your loved one to describe memories in vivid detail, helping to reduce intrusive thoughts by 30%
Voice your pain: Therapies such as narrative exposure therapy help to organise chaotic emotions into a structured story.
Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques
CBT Approaches (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
Rituals and Symbolic Healing
Social Support and Connection
Rebuilding Life after Loss
Soon, growth will emerge when we:
🌱Find Meaning: Volunteer for a cause tied to your loss, or adopt their positive traits.
🪴Cultivate your new identity: Ask yourself “Who am I now, and what matters?”
🌿Start Small: Re-engage with life through small commitments - a weekly meeting or hobbies?
In conclusion, Grief never really ends - it evolves. If the weight of grief feels unbearable, reach out to support - you are not alone.
References
BBC Countryfile. (2025, March 25). "Grief is the price we pay for love" – Best Queen Elizabeth II quotes. Countryfile.com. Retrieved April 21, 2025, from https://www.countryfile.com/people/royals/queen-elizabeth-ii-best-quotes
Trauma Recovery. (2025, March 2). Grief: Mourning what was Lost. Threads. Retrieved April 21, 2025, from https://www.threads.net/@traumatorecoveryy/post/DFlVizzMnaH?hl=en
Malik, P. (2022, February 24). The Kübler Ross Change Curve in the Workplace (2025). Whatfix. Retrieved April 21, 2025, from https://whatfix.com/blog/kubler-ross-change-curve/
Chronic stress puts your health at risk. (n.d.). Mayo Clinic. Retrieved April 21, 2025, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037
Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162–166. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1997.tb00403.x
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